Help your furry friends adjust to the new addition to your family with these tips and tricks.
Creating a safe space for your pets When preparing your pets for the arrival of a new baby, it's important to create a safe space where they can feel comfortable and secure. This can be a designated area in your home, such as a separate room or a specific corner, where your pets can retreat to when they need some alone time. Make sure this space is equipped with their favorite toys, bedding, and any other items that provide them with comfort. Additionally, it's important to establish boundaries around the baby's nursery and other areas where your pets may have limited access. This will not only help keep your baby safe, but also give your pets a clear understanding of their boundaries. By creating a safe space for your pets, you are giving them a sense of security and allowing them to adjust to the changes that come with a new addition to the family. Gradually introducing your pets to baby items To help your pets become familiar with the presence of baby items, it's important to introduce these items gradually. Start by bringing in small baby items, such as blankets or clothing, and allow your pets to sniff and investigate them. This will help them associate the scent of the baby with positive experiences. As you continue to introduce more baby items, make sure to supervise your pets and provide positive reinforcement when they show calm and relaxed behavior around these items. This will help them learn that the baby's belongings are not a threat and that they can coexist peacefully. Gradually introducing your pets to baby items will help them adjust to the new scents and sights associated with the baby, making the transition smoother for everyone. Establishing boundaries and rules Establishing boundaries and rules for your pets is crucial when preparing them for the arrival of a new baby. This includes setting clear guidelines for where they are allowed to go, what they are allowed to touch, and how they should behave around the baby. For example, you may want to teach your pets to stay off the baby's furniture or to only approach the baby when given permission. Consistency is key when establishing these boundaries, so make sure to enforce the rules consistently and provide positive reinforcement when your pets follow them. By establishing boundaries and rules, you are creating a safe and harmonious environment for both your pets and your baby. Training your pets to behave around the baby Before the baby arrives, it's important to work on training your pets to behave appropriately around the baby. This may include teaching them basic obedience commands, such as 'sit' and 'stay', and gradually introducing them to the sounds and movements associated with a baby. You can also simulate baby-related scenarios, such as using a doll to practice gentle interactions and rewarding your pets for calm and gentle behavior. Training your pets to behave around the baby will not only ensure the safety of your little one, but also help foster a positive relationship between your pets and your baby. Seeking professional help if needed If you are experiencing difficulties in preparing your pets for the arrival of a new baby, don't hesitate to seek professional help. A professional animal behaviorist or trainer can provide guidance and support tailored to your specific situation. They can help address any behavioral issues or anxieties your pets may have and provide you with effective strategies to ensure a smooth transition for both your pets and your baby. Remember, seeking professional help is a proactive step towards creating a safe and harmonious environment for your entire family.
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Discover the fascinating history of childbirth and explore the reasons behind the decline in midwives today. The Ancient Origins of Childbirth Childbirth is an ancient practice that dates back to the earliest civilizations. In ancient times, childbirth was often surrounded by rituals and superstitions. Many cultures believed in the existence of fertility goddesses who protected and guided those pregnant through the process of giving birth. Midwives played a crucial role in assisting people during childbirth, using their knowledge of herbs, massage, and other natural remedies to ease pain and ensure a safe delivery. In ancient Egypt, childbirth was considered a sacred event, and birthing people would often give birth in a special birthing room called a 'birthing house.' Midwives were highly respected and were trained in the art of childbirth. They would use a variety of techniques, such as massaging the abdomen, providing emotional support, and using herbal remedies to alleviate pain. The Ancient Greeks also had their own practices and beliefs surrounding childbirth. They believed that the goddess Artemis, who was associated with childbirth, would protect and guide people through the process. In ancient Rome, childbirth was seen as a natural event, and midwives played a crucial role in assisting the pregnant person. They were skilled in various techniques, including massage, positioning, and the use of herbal remedies. However, during this time, childbirth was also associated with certain superstitions and beliefs. For example, it was believed that the position of the stars and planets at the time of birth could influence the fate of the child. Midwives would often consult astrological charts to determine the best time for delivery. Medieval Practices and Superstitions During the medieval period, childbirth was often a dangerous and risky event. Medical knowledge was limited, and superstitions and religious beliefs played a significant role in the practices surrounding childbirth. Midwives were still the primary caregivers during childbirth, but their methods were often based on folklore and superstition rather than scientific understanding. In some cultures, people would give birth in a 'birthing chair' or 'birthing stool,' which was believed to help with the delivery process. Midwives would also use various herbal remedies and charms to protect the birthing person and the baby from harm. However, these practices were not always effective, and childbirth remained a risky endeavor during this time. Superstitions and beliefs surrounding childbirth were prevalent during the medieval period. For example, it was believed that the position of the moon and stars could affect the outcome of the birth. Midwives would often consult astrological charts and perform rituals to ensure a safe delivery. Additionally, religious beliefs played a significant role in childbirth practices. Many believed that childbirth was a result of God's will, and females were expected to endure the pain and suffering as a form of penance. Advancements in Childbirth during the Renaissance The Renaissance period marked a significant shift in the understanding and practices surrounding childbirth. Medical knowledge began to advance, and new discoveries and techniques were introduced. This period saw the emergence of male physicians in the field of obstetrics, challenging the traditional role of midwives. During the Renaissance, the study of anatomy and physiology became more sophisticated, leading to a better understanding of the female reproductive system. This knowledge was instrumental in improving childbirth practices and reducing maternal and infant mortality rates. Male physicians started to attend childbirths and introduced interventions such as forceps deliveries and the use of anesthesia. Despite these advancements, midwives still played a crucial role in childbirth. They continued to provide care and support to women during pregnancy, labor, and postpartum. However, their authority and status began to decline as male physicians gained more influence and control over childbirth practices. The Industrial Revolution's Impact on Childbirth The Industrial Revolution brought significant changes to society, including the field of childbirth. With the rise of factories and urbanization, families started migrating to cities in search of work, leaving behind their traditional support networks. As a result, childbirth moved from homes and communities to hospitals, and the role of midwives began to diminish. During this period, hospitals became the primary setting for childbirth, and male physicians took over the care of pregnant people. The emphasis shifted from natural childbirth to medical interventions and procedures. While these advancements led to a decrease in maternal and infant mortality rates, they also resulted in a loss of personalized care and the devaluing of midwifery. The Industrial Revolution also brought about changes in social attitudes towards childbirth. The rise of the middle class led to the idealization of the nuclear family and the concept of 'proper' childbirth, which often excluded the practices and knowledge of midwives. As a result, the role of midwives became marginalized, and their numbers began to decline. The Modern Era: Challenges and Changes In the modern era, childbirth has become highly medicalized. Technological advancements have revolutionized the field of obstetrics, enabling safer deliveries and better outcomes for mothers and babies. However, this shift towards medical intervention has also contributed to the decline in the number of midwives. Today, midwifery is often seen as an alternative or complementary approach to obstetric care. While midwives continue to provide personalized and holistic care, their numbers are significantly lower than in previous centuries. Factors such as the rising costs of education, legal restrictions, and the dominance of the medical model have contributed to the decline in midwifery. Despite these challenges, there is a growing recognition of the importance of midwifery in promoting natural childbirth and providing individualized care. Efforts are being made to increase the availability of midwives and integrate them into the healthcare system. By understanding the rich history of childbirth and the role of midwives, we can work towards a future where everyone has access to safe and supportive care during pregnancy and childbirth. Learn effective ways to provide comfort and support to your partner during labor with this comprehensive guide for partners. Understanding the importance of comfort measures during labor During labor, comfort measures play a crucial role in helping your partner manage pain and stay relaxed. Understanding the importance of these measures can greatly contribute to a positive birth experience. Comfort measures can include various techniques and strategies that provide physical and emotional support to your partner throughout the process. By implementing comfort measures, you can help your partner feel more comfortable and in control, which can lead to a smoother labor and delivery. It is important to remember that every labor experience is unique, and what works for one person may not work for another. Therefore, being knowledgeable about different comfort measures and having an open line of communication with your partner is essential. Comfort measures can help your partner cope with the pain of contractions, reduce anxiety, and promote relaxation. They can also enhance the bond between you and your partner, as you actively participate in the birth process. By providing comfort and support, you can create a positive and empowering environment for your partner's labor. Creating a supportive birth environment Creating a supportive birth environment is crucial for your partner's comfort and well-being during labor. This involves setting up a calming and familiar space where your partner feels safe and supported. Here are some tips to create a supportive birth environment: - Dim the lights or use soft lighting to create a relaxing atmosphere. - Play soothing music or nature sounds to promote relaxation. - Keep the room at a comfortable temperature. - Provide comfortable pillows, cushions, and blankets for your partner to rest on. - Ensure that the room is quiet and free from unnecessary distractions. By creating a supportive birth environment, you can help your partner feel more at ease and minimize stress and discomfort during labor. Physical comfort techniques for labor Physical comfort techniques can provide relief and help your partner manage the discomfort of labor. Here are some physical comfort techniques that you can try: - Encourage your partner to change positions frequently. - Offer massages to relieve tension and help your partner relax. - Apply warm or cold compresses to provide relief. - Use a birthing ball or other props to support your partner's body and provide comfort. - Keep your partner hydrated. Keep in mind that every person is different, so it's important to communicate with your partner and ask for their preferences. By providing physical comfort and support, you can help your partner navigate the challenges of labor. Emotional support and communication strategies Emotional support is crucial during labor, as it can greatly impact your partner's experience. Here are some strategies to provide emotional support: - Stay by your partner's side and offer words of encouragement and reassurance. - Listen actively and validate your partner's feelings and emotions. - Use positive affirmations to boost your partner's confidence and mindset. - Help your partner relax through guided imagery or visualization techniques. - Be an advocate for your partner's birth preferences and communicate their needs to the healthcare team. Effective communication is key during labor. Ensure that you and your partner have discussed and understood each other's expectations and desires for the birth. By maintaining open and supportive communication, you can help create a positive and empowering birth experience. Navigating unexpected challenges and complications Labor can sometimes present unexpected challenges and complications. It's important to be prepared and informed so that you can navigate these situations together. Here are some tips: - Educate yourself about common complications that may arise during labor. - Know your options and have a backup plan in case the original birth plan needs to be adjusted. - Stay calm and composed, and reassure your partner that you are there to support them. - Ask questions if you need clarification or more information from your medical team. - Remember that your role as a partner is to provide emotional support and help make decisions together. By being prepared and supportive, you can navigate unexpected challenges and complications with resilience and strength. Discover the advantages of planning for postpartum and how it can positively impact your well-being and the well-being of your baby. Understanding Postpartum: What to Expect The postpartum period, also known as the fourth trimester, refers to the time after childbirth when the birthing person's body undergoes physical and emotional changes as it recovers from pregnancy and childbirth. Understanding what to expect during this period can help new parents navigate the challenges and transitions that come with it. Physically, postpartum parents may experience symptoms such as vaginal bleeding, soreness, breast engorgement, and fatigue. Emotionally, hormonal changes can lead to mood swings, postpartum blues, and in some cases, postpartum depression. It's important for parents to know that these experiences are normal and temporary, and that seeking support and planning ahead can make the postpartum period more manageable. The Importance of Postpartum Planning Postpartum planning involves preparing for the physical, emotional, and practical aspects of the postpartum period. It is crucial because it helps new parents prioritize their own well-being and the well-being of their baby. By having a plan in place, parents can ensure that they have the necessary support, resources, and information to navigate the challenges of the postpartum period. Planning for postpartum can help parents address their physical recovery needs, such as scheduling medical check-ups, arranging for postpartum care, and establishing a healthy routine. It also involves preparing for the emotional changes and challenges that may arise, such as seeking counseling or joining support groups. Additionally, postpartum planning includes making arrangements for social support, such as enlisting help from family and friends, or considering professional services like postpartum doulas or lactation counselors. By actively planning for postpartum, families can reduce stress, increase their confidence, and improve their overall well-being during this important period of transition. Physical Benefits of Postpartum Planning Engaging in postpartum planning can have numerous physical benefits for new parents. By prioritizing self-care and addressing their physical recovery needs, birthing people can promote healing and regain their strength more effectively. This may include establishing a healthy diet and exercise routine, scheduling regular medical check-ups, and addressing any lingering physical discomfort or concerns. Postpartum planning can also help parents navigate common physical challenges such as breast/chestfeeding difficulties, sleep deprivation, and managing postpartum weight. By having a plan in place, parents can seek timely support, professional guidance, and resources to address these issues, which can significantly impact their overall physical well-being. Mental and Emotional Benefits of Postpartum Planning Postpartum planning not only addresses the physical aspects of recovery but also focuses on the mental and emotional well-being of new parents. By acknowledging and preparing for the emotional changes and challenges that may arise during the postpartum period, parents can better cope with and navigate these experiences. Having a postpartum plan in place allows parents to identify potential sources of support, such as counseling services, support groups, or trusted friends and family members. This can help reduce feelings of isolation, anxiety, and postpartum mood disorders. Additionally, postpartum planning can involve creating a self-care routine that prioritizes mental and emotional well-being, such as incorporating relaxation techniques, journaling, or engaging in activities that bring joy and fulfillment. By taking proactive steps to address their mental and emotional health, parents can enhance their overall well-being and create a positive postpartum experience. Social Support and Postpartum Planning Social support plays a crucial role in the postpartum period, and including it in the planning process can greatly benefit new parents. By enlisting the help of family, friends, or professional services, parents can ensure they have the necessary support network to assist them during this transitional phase. Postpartum planning may involve discussing and arranging for practical support, such as help with household chores, meal preparation, or childcare. It can also include identifying emotional support systems, such as trusted individuals who can provide a listening ear, offer advice, or simply be there to provide comfort and encouragement. Having a solid social support system in place can alleviate stress, reduce feelings of overwhelm, and promote a sense of community during the postpartum period. It allows parents to focus on their own recovery and bonding with their baby, knowing that they have a network of support to lean on when needed. Discover effective strategies to reduce the rates of childbirth induction and promote the natural birthing process. Understanding the Importance of Reducing Childbirth Induction Rates Childbirth induction rates have been on the rise in recent years, and it is crucial to understand the importance of lowering these rates. While induction can be necessary in certain medical situations, such as when the health of the birthing parent or baby is at risk, it is important to avoid unnecessary inductions. High induction rates can lead to a cascade of medical interventions, which may increase the risk of complications and negatively impact the natural birthing process. Reducing childbirth induction rates is essential to promote the normal progression of labor and birth. Allowing labor to start spontaneously and progress naturally can lead to a smoother and more positive birth experience for both the parent and baby. Additionally, avoiding unnecessary induction can help reduce the use of medical interventions, such as epidurals and cesarean sections, which can have their own set of risks and complications. By understanding the importance of reducing childbirth induction rates, we can strive to create a more supportive and empowering birthing environment for pregnant people. It is important to prioritize evidence-based practices and informed decision-making to ensure that inductions are only performed when necessary. By doing so, we can promote the natural birthing process and improve outcomes for both parents and babies. Promoting Prenatal Education, Support, and Birth Planning One effective strategy for lowering childbirth induction rates is to promote prenatal education and birth planning. Providing expectant parents with comprehensive information about the process of labor and birth can help them make informed decisions and better understand the benefits of allowing labor to start spontaneously. Some expectant parents may want to hire a doula to provide additional support and education to guide them through their pregnancy and childbirth. In addition to doula assisted births having a lower rate of inductions, research shows that people who work with a doula throughout the prenatal period and childbirth are less likely to have a preterm delivery or a low birthweight baby, less likely to experience postpartum depression, and more likely to initiate and continue breast/chestfeeding for a longer period. Prenatal education classes can cover topics such as the stages of labor, coping techniques for managing pain, and the potential risks and benefits of medical interventions. By empowering expectant parents with knowledge, they can feel more confident in their ability to navigate the birthing process and make informed choices about their care. In addition to prenatal education, encouraging birth planning can also help reduce induction rates. Birth plans allow expectant parents to communicate their preferences and desires for labor and birth to their healthcare providers. By discussing their birth plan with their healthcare team, expectant parents can have open and honest conversations about the potential need for induction and explore alternatives or strategies to support natural labor. Promoting prenatal education and birth planning can help birthing people feel more prepared and empowered, which can ultimately lead to a lower rate of unnecessary inductions. Encouraging Healthy Lifestyle Choices during Pregnancy Maintaining a healthy lifestyle during pregnancy is another important strategy for lowering childbirth induction rates. By promoting and supporting healthy habits, healthcare providers can help reduce the likelihood of complications that may necessitate induction. Encouraging pregnant people to engage in regular physical activity, eat a balanced diet, and manage stress can contribute to a healthy pregnancy and potentially reduce the need for intervention. Regular exercise, such as walking or prenatal yoga, can help strengthen the body and prepare it for labor. A nutritious diet rich in fruits, vegetables, and whole grains can provide essential nutrients for both the mother and baby. Additionally, stress management techniques, such as meditation or prenatal massages, can help promote relaxation and reduce the risk of complications. By emphasizing the importance of healthy lifestyle choices during pregnancy, healthcare providers can help create a supportive environment that promotes natural labor and reduces the need for induction. Integrating Alternative Birthing Methods and Techniques Integrating alternative birthing methods and techniques can also be an effective strategy for lowering induction rates. Alternative methods, such as acupressure, acupuncture, and hypnobirthing, have been found to promote natural labor and reduce the need for medical intervention. Acupressure and acupuncture involve applying pressure or inserting thin needles into specific points of the body to stimulate labor. These techniques have been used for centuries and are believed to help regulate the body's energy flow, promoting the onset and progression of labor. Hypnobirthing, on the other hand, focuses on deep relaxation and self-hypnosis techniques to manage pain and anxiety during labor. By learning and practicing these techniques during pregnancy, expectant parents can enter labor with a calm and empowered mindset, which may help facilitate a smoother and more efficient birthing process. Integrating alternative birthing methods and techniques into prenatal care can provide expectant parents with additional options for promoting natural labor and reducing the need for induction. Collaborating with Healthcare Providers for Informed Decision-Making Collaborating with healthcare providers is crucial for informed decision-making and reducing childbirth induction rates. Open and honest communication between expectant parents and their healthcare team can help ensure that inductions are performed only when necessary and in the best interest of the mother and baby. Healthcare providers play a vital role in educating expectant parents about the potential risks and benefits of induction, as well as discussing alternatives and supporting their choices. By involving expectant parents in the decision-making process and respecting their preferences, healthcare providers can create a trusting and collaborative relationship that promotes the natural birthing process. Additionally, healthcare providers can stay up to date with the latest research and guidelines regarding induction and actively incorporate evidence-based practices into their care. By using a shared decision-making approach, healthcare providers can help reduce the rates of unnecessary inductions and improve outcomes for both parents and babies. By collaborating with healthcare providers, childbirth educators, and doulas, expectant parents can make informed decisions about their care and work together to lower childbirth induction rates. Discover the incredible benefits of placenta encapsulation and how it can support postpartum recovery and overall well-being for new parents. The Science Behind Placenta Encapsulation Placenta encapsulation is the process of turning the placenta into capsules or powder form for consumption. This practice has been used for centuries in traditional Chinese medicine and is gaining popularity among postpartum parents in the Western world. The science behind placenta encapsulation lies in the belief that the placenta contains essential nutrients and hormones that can support postpartum recovery. The placenta is a remarkable organ that develops during pregnancy to provide nutrients and oxygen to the growing fetus. It is rich in iron, protein, vitamins, and minerals that are crucial for the body's healing process after childbirth. By encapsulating the placenta, these nutrients and hormones are preserved and can be consumed by the parent to support their recovery. Research on placenta encapsulation is limited, but some studies suggest that consuming placenta capsules may help with postpartum recovery. However, it is important to note that more research is needed to fully understand the benefits and potential risks of placenta encapsulation. Benefits of Placenta Capsules for Postpartum Recovery Placenta capsules are believed to offer several benefits for postpartum recovery. One of the main benefits is the potential to replenish essential nutrients that may have been depleted during pregnancy and childbirth. The iron content in placenta capsules can help prevent or alleviate postpartum anemia, which is common among new parents. In addition to nutrient replenishment, placenta pills are thought to support hormone regulation. After giving birth, hormone levels in the body fluctuate, which can lead to mood swings, fatigue, and other postpartum symptoms. The hormones present in the placenta, such as estrogen and progesterone, may help balance these hormonal changes and promote a smoother recovery. Another benefit of placenta capsules is their potential to boost energy levels. The combination of nutrients and hormones in the placenta can provide a natural energy boost, helping new parents cope with the demands of caring for a newborn. Furthermore, some anecdotal evidence suggests that placenta capsules may enhance milk production in nursing parents. However, more research is needed to confirm this claim. It's important to note that the benefits of placenta capsules may vary from person to person, and not all new parents may experience the same effects. It's always recommended to consult with a professional before considering placenta encapsulation. How Placenta Capsules Support Hormonal Balance Hormonal balance is crucial for a smooth postpartum recovery. The placenta contains hormones such as estrogen, progesterone, and oxytocin that play a significant role in regulating mood, energy levels, and milk production. Consuming placenta capsules is believed to support hormonal balance by providing the body with these essential hormones. This can help alleviate postpartum symptoms such as mood swings, anxiety, and fatigue. By maintaining hormonal balance, new parents may experience a more positive and stable emotional state during the postpartum period. While the exact mechanism of how placenta capsules support hormonal balance is not fully understood, many postpartum parents report positive experiences and improvements in their overall well-being after taking placenta capsules. Boosting Energy Levels with Placenta Capsules The early days and weeks of parenthood can be exhausting, with sleep deprivation and round-the-clock care for the newborn. Placenta capsules are believed to offer a natural energy boost to help new parents cope with the demands of this challenging period. The combination of nutrients, vitamins, and hormones in placenta capsules can provide a source of energy that supports physical and mental stamina. By replenishing essential nutrients and supporting hormonal balance, placenta pills may help combat fatigue and promote a sense of vitality during the postpartum period. However, it's important to note that while placenta capsules may provide an energy boost, they should not be seen as a substitute for a healthy diet, restful sleep, and self-care. It's crucial for new parents to prioritize their overall well-being and seek support when needed. Enhancing Mood and Reducing Postpartum Depression One of the most significant challenges faced by new parents is the risk of developing postpartum depression. This condition can have a profound impact on a parent's mental health and overall well-being. Placenta capsules are believed to have mood-enhancing properties that may help reduce the risk of postpartum depression. The hormones present in the placenta, such as serotonin and dopamine, are known to play a role in regulating mood and promoting feelings of happiness and well-being. By consuming placenta capsules, new parents may benefit from the natural mood-enhancing effects of these hormones, potentially reducing the likelihood of developing postpartum depression. However, it's important to note that placenta capsules should not be seen as a standalone treatment for postpartum depression. If you or someone you know is experiencing symptoms of postpartum depression, it's essential to seek professional help and support. In conclusion, placenta encapsulation and the consumption of placenta capsules offer potential benefits for postpartum recovery. While more research is needed to fully understand the science behind these benefits, many new parents report positive experiences and improvements in their overall well-being after incorporating placenta pills into their postpartum routine. As always, it's important to consult with a professional before considering placenta encapsulation to ensure it is safe and suitable for you. If you would like to chat about how placenta encapsulation may benefit you in your postpartum period please reach out for a free consultation. DONA International states, "What is a Doula? A doula is a trained professional who provides continuous physical, emotional and informational support to a pregnant person before, during and shortly after childbirth to help them achieve the healthiest, most satisfying experience possible." Nowhere in that description does it state that a doula is a magician. I love what I do but I can not tell anyone their birth outcome before it happens. I do not have a crystal ball. Doulas can not promise a fast, pain-free birth. Hiring a doula does not mean you won't have a Cesarean birth. A doula attended birth may still include pain medication. A doula is also not a bouncer and can not stop people from showing at the hospital or protect you from the one doctor at the practice you don't like.
I am saying these things because these are myths about doulas that come up regularly enough. Not that we are actual magicians but that we have some magical power over the birth. The birthing person is the only person who can make choices about their birth experience. A doula will give you all the tools and hold the space for you, maybe remind you of your preferences or maybe give you the confidence to advocate for yourself but we can not jump in front of the anesthesiologist as they are giving you an epidural and scream, "NO! That's not in the birth plan!" As a doula we want you to have all the information to make the best choices you can at the time. It might not go down like you imagined but you should feel respected, informed and empowered that you are making the best choices for you. The birthing family needs to do some work too. Hiring a doula is a great start. Research your caregiver and choose a caregiver and birth place that you feel great about, one that is in line with your values. Just because you have been going to the same gynecologist since you were 16 doesn't mean that's the best practice for you as a pregnant person. The closest hospital might not be the best hospital. If your insurance doesn't cover home birth does that really mean its not possible? Would you take your car to the closest mechanic even though you knew they weren't that great and never worked on your model of car before? More thought and money is given to weddings and furniture than pregnancy and birth sometimes. Doing research to make great choices is universal and especially includes major life events like childbirth. A doula can only do so much if you choose a practice known for inductions, a hospital with a high Cesarean rate and you go to the hospital way too soon. I wish I had a magic wand and could give all families the birth of their dreams but I can't. Fortunately, families can do a lot for themselves by hiring a doula, educating and researching their options before baby's birthday. Take a childbirth preparation class, learn about the hospitals and birth centers in your area, ask your doctor or midwife all the questions you need to to make sure they are in line with your birthing hopes and dreams. If they aren't, there are others who are. The average wedding takes 6-9 months to plan and costs $30,000, is this any more important than the birth of a child? You don't have to spend near that much on the birth of a child but make the investments to help ensure you a positive experience. Take the time, educate yourself, and have a positive birth to pave the way for a confident start to parenthood. One of the parts about being a doula and a birth worker I love almost as much as supporting a family in birth is when someone who is thinking about becoming a doula, or a brand new, just out of training, doula calls me and wants to meet for coffee and to ask me a couple questions. I love their excitement and energy. I remember that excitement, especially before I had attended any births. I also remember being nervous, about starting my doula business and wondering how was I going to get anyone to allow me to support them. Usually these are the kinds of questions I get asked and many more. After meeting with A LOT of new doulas for coffee, I started offering to mentor them. It gave new doulas, who just completed their training some real experience and knowledge from someone who has been in their shoes and now, after quite a few years and births, has some experience to share.
I feel like its really important to support new doulas and to help them succeed. If we work to lift each other up then there will be more doulas who will have grown in a birth worker community feeling nurtured and empowered. This births new doulas into the world with the confidence and tools to serve families well and spread the word of the benefits of doula support, evidence based care, and all possible options during such a special time in life. These doulas also learn to help others in their community as they have benefited, paying it forward in the birth worker community. Just like a family or pregnant person deserves a doula during that miraculous time in their lives to educate, support and guide them. A doula deserves a doula mentor of their own as they transition into the world of birth work. A mentor doesn't just have to be for a new doula either. It can be a great help to someone coming back to birth work after a long hiatus or to a doula who is new to the area. Regardless of what ever stage they are in in life a mentor can be beneficial. It can also be a helpful if a doula is considering adding or changing services to their practice. Some of the ways mentoring can help a new doula, especially in the very beginning as they are still trying to get their businesses up and running, is to offer support after meeting potential clients, before and after client prenatal visits and before and after births. Questions arise for any doula, new and seasoned alike and it is essential to have a support system of knowledgeable colleagues. For new doulas that have not become established in their area and do not have that support a mentor can offer fill that role and introduce the new doula to a community full of support and resources. It is invaluable to have a mentor's help to process all births, good ones and not so good ones. Having the emotional support through all the stages and phases of learning, building successful practices and growing into seasoned doulas is very important. Finding a mentor can be one of the best ways to start a career in birth work. The business of birth work and the process of certification are two of the biggest concerns of new doulas. As a doula mentor who has established several businesses and has founded a co-op I have offered guidance as new doulas set up their practice. From contracts, fees and taxes to managing schedules and other logistical concerns, a seasoned doula mentor can offer their experience to answer any questions and give advice. If certification questions arise, or help is needed assembling resources in the community a mentor who has an already established network of resources can be very helpful. A doula mentor has already gone through the training, understanding the challenges certification can bring and has the experience and knowledge to guide someone through the process. As is said very often in the world of birth work, every family deserves a doula and I believe every doula also deserves a doula. Most major training workshops are pretty through but in a couple of days it it just not possible to cover everything. In addition, many potential doulas take trainings outside of the area they plan to serve so they will need people more local for resources, networking, back-up, and so many more things that arise in doula work. A mentor can fill those needs and connect a new doula with a whole community of not only other doulas but midwives, chiropractors, lactation professionals, childbirth educators, prenatal yoga teachers, massage therapists, pelvic floor therapists, and more. As a doula can shorten the length of labor I'm sure a doula mentor shortens the certification process. It is extremely helpful to have access to an experienced doula for all questions, problems, and support as a new doula embarks on their journey through birth work. If you are a new doula and interested in having a mentor please feel free to contact me. It is such an honor to be invited to the birth of a baby. Whether you are the soon to be grandparents, auntie or best friend, to be there for such a special time in the expectant family's life is truly special. With that great honor also comes the great responsibility to help keep the birth environment safe, secure and one that will allow the pregnant person to labor the way they need and desire. The people around the laboring person can have a huge influence on the labor, the birth and the entire experience. There are so many things you can do to help the family during this time and there are somethings that, even though well intentioned, might discolor the experience for the new parents.
Let's break down what it means to be a good support person. First, understanding that your title is support person, whether the laboring person has a doula or partner or both you were invited for some sort of support. If you can understand that you are half way there. You aren't there to simply watch, birth is not a spectator sport, you are an active participant. Please talk to the pregnant family before the birth and ask what role do they see you playing and how can you be the best comfort and support. Ask if they are taking a childbirth education class and maybe you can join them. While you are chatting also talk about the birth plan, what are their hopes and dreams for the birth and respect their choices. You may also find that you might need to help them advocate for themselves or remind them of their choices. If you feel you can not respect their choices or at least can't stay silent about your opinion maybe you could wait in the waiting room until after the baby is born. So you are at the birth place, you are wearing your support person badge of honor and the laboring person is experiencing a significant amount of discomfort, what do you do? You support and encourage, not pity. Sitting there, staring at the laboring person with a sad face and telling them to just get the epidural when you know that not what the family's wishes are is not good support. You are basically telling them to give up their dreams. Yeah, birth can be hard, it can be uncomfortable but the family hopefully already knew that. When things get tough that's when your job as support person kicks into effect. You have the power to change things with a few words. There are tons of great things a support person can say but the easiest is, YOU CAN DO THIS! Telling them that you are proud of them, that they are strong, that you love them. These encouraging words are better than gold and can really change things from feeling like throwing in the towel to feeling rejuvenated and confident. The labor is now progressing but you are starting to get a bit tired, nervous, anxious and that can effect the expectant family. The laboring person can pick up all sorts of energy while in this raw, laboring state. Just as your positivity and support can be contagious and bring the family up, bad vibes can bring a person down. You should prepare yourself that labor can be long. If you are feeling worn out just step out of the room and give yourself a breather, grab a coffee and something to eat and go back feeling renewed. Sometimes taking a walk outside, or a few minutes of meditation and you can support the laboring person better. Make sure you have things you need to be comfortable, a sweater, a toothbrush and snacks. If you feel that you are too anxious to be proper support during or better yet, before the labor begins because of your own personal experience be honest with the expectant family. They will appreciate you not wanting to alter their birth environment and you might be a better support to them that way. As a doula we try to anticipate a laboring person needs, all support people can help by looking for the needs of the family. If the birthing partner looks tired see if they would like to step out and get a bite to eat. Sometimes the partner feels obligated to stay but they need support too. Giving them permission to go and have a breather will allow them to come back a little fresher and able to support their partner better. A support person can model breathing to the laboring person, suggest position change or make sure they have a drink or lip balm if their lips are dry. If they need a hair band or lotion get that for them with out asking. Trying to read them and get them what they need so they don't have to think, keep them in Laborland and focused on what they need to do. If they are having a contraction try not to bother the laboring person with questions or touch. If you are told to stop talking, touching, or anything else just stop and don't take it personal. There are so many things going on in a pregnant person and it is hard to sort that all out in labor. You many be doing some back rubbing that is awesome one minute and then its annoying, its ok, just stop and don't resume unless asked. This is also a great time to tell you that this experience is the expectant family's experience that you were invited to be part of. The news of the labor and birth and all details that go along with that are the family's to share with the world. This is the most fun news to spread and it should be the person who had to work the hardest that gets to announce it. The worst thing is telling someone about your new baby and they say, "I know, your mom told me!" Supporting a laboring person is a huge honor and responsibility, its a full time job there will probably be very little time to spend on your phone or laptop anyway. If you want to share the special news with anyone make sure your have the permission of the new parents and NEVER announce it on social media before the parents. After the baby is born the family still needs you. They might even need you more now as they navigate parenthood. There are so many ways you can offer support after birth, from picking up some groceries to dropping off a meal to just hanging out with baby while the exhausted parents nap or shower. A support person is so special to the family, you will always be part of their birth story. You can say you have know their baby since they were 1 second old! What a terrifically special person you are! After I had my first child I didn't want anymore. The whole experience was unfortunate. I didn't enjoy my pregnancy, I was horribly constipated the whole first trimester and I didn't have the most informative or supportive medical providers. One of the OBs had a sign in his office that read, "Home Delivery is for Pizza".
I was induced and I wasn't even a week late. I was admitted to the hospital at 10 am, they told me we would have a baby in my arms by that night. That night came and went, and so did another. I was running on low-sodium broth and lemon ice. I was convinced my body didn't work. Why didn't I go into labor on my due date, why did they have to try to force this baby out of me, why was the induction not working? Back labor. Epidural. Finally, my water broke on its own as my midwife was unwrapping the amnio-hook, something in my body did something they wanted. After several hours of pushing my baby was born, I think it was wonderful, I look happy in the pictures but I don't really remember it myself. Maybe it was the drugs, or maybe I was just tired but that set the tone for the next year. A few years later I would find out I had postpartum depression. This was how I became a mother. When my firstborn, Edie, was three I got pregnant again. I didn't forget my first pregnancy and birth but was set to change things for this pregnancy and birth. My first change was the midwife and medical practice. My next change was not listening to all the horror stories people would tell me. I would stand there politely as strangers and co-workers spewed their trauma but I didn't listen. Some other changes were that I read more good books about pregnancy. I read more Ina May Gaskin and others who talked about how childbirth was natural and that my body could totally do this. I was a different person during this pregnancy, I wasn't scared of labor and birth. I was still scared of postpartum depression but talked with my midwife about what we could do if it reared its ugly head. We had a plan in place and that took some of the fear away. My water broke before contractions started, and I waited for my husband, Nick, and my neighbor to come home from work. Nick and I went off to the hospital and my neighbor watched Edie until my mother-in-law could come. At the hospital things were good, I was calm. My midwife was right there as I walked into the hospital. We hung out in triage until they could take me to a room. I was contracting but wasn't bothered by it yet, I felt so much more at peace in this experience. In about six hours I had pushed out Jackson. He breastfed great, he slept, Nick and I ate Wendy's and watched Law & Order. What a great birth! These two experiences were so radically different. One I felt like shit after, the other I was a glowing breastfeeding goddess during postpartum. It was during this time that I was feeling that others might have experiences like my first and it could scar them, at the time I was still scarred. How could I help that not happen? What could I do? I started looking into becoming a childbirth educator and then I found out about doulas. It was like a lightning strike! I wanted to do that! I started researching doula training and found one not far away and signed up. I read and read and read all the books on the reading list and more. I was so excited, I devoured all the information I could. I trained and certified as a birth doula, then a postpartum doula, then a lactation counselor, then trained to be a childbirth educator, then a placenta encapsulator. I wanted to help all the families I could have the best experience they could. Edie is now 15 and it seems like a lifetime ago that I had that experience. I look at the new mother I was and want to go back in time and hug her. She needed support, guidance, and education. I want to be her doula so she could start her journey as a mother feeling empowered not invisible. I am grateful for all that experience taught me and what it has made me into but I don't wish that on anyone and that is why I'm a doula. |
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