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One of the parts about being a doula and a birth worker I love almost as much as supporting a family in birth is when someone who is thinking about becoming a doula, or a brand new, just out of training, doula calls me and wants to meet for coffee and to ask me a couple questions. I love their excitement and energy. I remember that excitement, especially before I had attended any births. I also remember being nervous, about starting my doula business and wondering how was I going to get anyone to allow me to support them. Usually these are the kinds of questions I get asked and many more. After meeting with A LOT of new doulas for coffee, I started offering to mentor them. It gave new doulas, who just completed their training some real experience and knowledge from someone who has been in their shoes and now, after quite a few years and births, has some experience to share.
I feel like its really important to support new doulas and to help them succeed. If we work to lift each other up then there will be more doulas who will have grown in a birth worker community feeling nurtured and empowered. This births new doulas into the world with the confidence and tools to serve families well and spread the word of the benefits of doula support, evidence based care, and all possible options during such a special time in life. These doulas also learn to help others in their community as they have benefited, paying it forward in the birth worker community. Just like a family or pregnant person deserves a doula during that miraculous time in their lives to educate, support and guide them. A doula deserves a doula mentor of their own as they transition into the world of birth work. A mentor doesn't just have to be for a new doula either. It can be a great help to someone coming back to birth work after a long hiatus or to a doula who is new to the area. Regardless of what ever stage they are in in life a mentor can be beneficial. It can also be a helpful if a doula is considering adding or changing services to their practice. Some of the ways mentoring can help a new doula, especially in the very beginning as they are still trying to get their businesses up and running, is to offer support after meeting potential clients, before and after client prenatal visits and before and after births. Questions arise for any doula, new and seasoned alike and it is essential to have a support system of knowledgeable colleagues. For new doulas that have not become established in their area and do not have that support a mentor can offer fill that role and introduce the new doula to a community full of support and resources. It is invaluable to have a mentor's help to process all births, good ones and not so good ones. Having the emotional support through all the stages and phases of learning, building successful practices and growing into seasoned doulas is very important. Finding a mentor can be one of the best ways to start a career in birth work. The business of birth work and the process of certification are two of the biggest concerns of new doulas. As a doula mentor who has established several businesses and has founded a co-op I have offered guidance as new doulas set up their practice. From contracts, fees and taxes to managing schedules and other logistical concerns, a seasoned doula mentor can offer their experience to answer any questions and give advice. If certification questions arise, or help is needed assembling resources in the community a mentor who has an already established network of resources can be very helpful. A doula mentor has already gone through the training, understanding the challenges certification can bring and has the experience and knowledge to guide someone through the process. As is said very often in the world of birth work, every family deserves a doula and I believe every doula also deserves a doula. Most major training workshops are pretty through but in a couple of days it it just not possible to cover everything. In addition, many potential doulas take trainings outside of the area they plan to serve so they will need people more local for resources, networking, back-up, and so many more things that arise in doula work. A mentor can fill those needs and connect a new doula with a whole community of not only other doulas but midwives, chiropractors, lactation professionals, childbirth educators, prenatal yoga teachers, massage therapists, pelvic floor therapists, and more. As a doula can shorten the length of labor I'm sure a doula mentor shortens the certification process. It is extremely helpful to have access to an experienced doula for all questions, problems, and support as a new doula embarks on their journey through birth work. If you are a new doula and interested in having a mentor please feel free to contact me.
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After I had my first child I didn't want anymore. The whole experience was unfortunate. I didn't enjoy my pregnancy, I was horribly constipated the whole first trimester and I didn't have the most informative or supportive medical providers. One of the OBs had a sign in his office that read, "Home Delivery is for Pizza".
I was induced and I wasn't even a week late. I was admitted to the hospital at 10 am, they told me we would have a baby in my arms by that night. That night came and went, and so did another. I was running on low-sodium broth and lemon ice. I was convinced my body didn't work. Why didn't I go into labor on my due date, why did they have to try to force this baby out of me, why was the induction not working? Back labor. Epidural. Finally, my water broke on its own as my midwife was unwrapping the amnio-hook, something in my body did something they wanted. After several hours of pushing my baby was born, I think it was wonderful, I look happy in the pictures but I don't really remember it myself. Maybe it was the drugs, or maybe I was just tired but that set the tone for the next year. A few years later I would find out I had postpartum depression. This was how I became a mother. When my firstborn, Edie, was three I got pregnant again. I didn't forget my first pregnancy and birth but was set to change things for this pregnancy and birth. My first change was the midwife and medical practice. My next change was not listening to all the horror stories people would tell me. I would stand there politely as strangers and co-workers spewed their trauma but I didn't listen. Some other changes were that I read more good books about pregnancy. I read more Ina May Gaskin and others who talked about how childbirth was natural and that my body could totally do this. I was a different person during this pregnancy, I wasn't scared of labor and birth. I was still scared of postpartum depression but talked with my midwife about what we could do if it reared its ugly head. We had a plan in place and that took some of the fear away. My water broke before contractions started, and I waited for my husband, Nick, and my neighbor to come home from work. Nick and I went off to the hospital and my neighbor watched Edie until my mother-in-law could come. At the hospital things were good, I was calm. My midwife was right there as I walked into the hospital. We hung out in triage until they could take me to a room. I was contracting but wasn't bothered by it yet, I felt so much more at peace in this experience. In about six hours I had pushed out Jackson. He breastfed great, he slept, Nick and I ate Wendy's and watched Law & Order. What a great birth! These two experiences were so radically different. One I felt like shit after, the other I was a glowing breastfeeding goddess during postpartum. It was during this time that I was feeling that others might have experiences like my first and it could scar them, at the time I was still scarred. How could I help that not happen? What could I do? I started looking into becoming a childbirth educator and then I found out about doulas. It was like a lightning strike! I wanted to do that! I started researching doula training and found one not far away and signed up. I read and read and read all the books on the reading list and more. I was so excited, I devoured all the information I could. I trained and certified as a birth doula, then a postpartum doula, then a lactation counselor, then trained to be a childbirth educator, then a placenta encapsulator. I wanted to help all the families I could have the best experience they could. Edie is now 15 and it seems like a lifetime ago that I had that experience. I look at the new mother I was and want to go back in time and hug her. She needed support, guidance, and education. I want to be her doula so she could start her journey as a mother feeling empowered not invisible. I am grateful for all that experience taught me and what it has made me into but I don't wish that on anyone and that is why I'm a doula. |
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Supporting All Births & All Families In Any Birthing Location Since 2013.
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Kind Words From Clients"I cannot recommend Jessica highly enough! My husband and I wanted a doula for my first birth, but didn't know any in the area and found Jessica online. We met with Jessica for the first time and immediately connected. We were impressed by her warmness, respectfulness, and knowledge. She emphasized how important it is to feel like it's a good match as the doula will be there for such an important and intimate day! After we left our meeting, my husband and I already had our minds made up to work with Jessica." -B.M. |
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